Luck

Caution: I am stepping up on my soap-box....

For those of you who have heard this from me already, I apologize in advance. The other day I was talking with a woman who made a comment to me that I've heard multiple times since I've become a mom. What she said probably seems harmless enough - maybe you've heard it yourself. She said, "You are so lucky to be able to stay home with your kids." Maybe you've heard a variation of it - perhaps, "Well, I only wish I could stay home with my kids. You're just so lucky!" or something of the like.

Let me interrupt myself right now and say this - I DO NOT mean any disrespect to all of the moms who work outside the home. I do not think I'm a better mom than you or that I love my kids more than you love yours because I am a stay-at-home mom. I am speaking only about my own personal situation.

Okay, so back to it...why, you might ask, does this comment drive me crazy? Well, for starters, I do not consider myself all that "lucky" - if I did, I'd be buying lottery tickets every week.

It was not "luck" that John and I chose to work extremely hard to get through college and earn degrees. It was not "luck" that we waited until we finished college to get married. It was not "luck" that helped John get through an incredibly rigorous Master's program at one of the best policy schools in the country, the University of Chicago. It also wasn't "luck" that we decided to put off having children until we were able to support them ourselves. It certainly isn't "luck" that we make MANY sacrifices so that I can stay home with our kids every day. We shared one car for a while. Now, I drive an older car, not the nice new one I would love to have. I haven't gotten my nails done or highlights done in I don't know how long....I barely get my hair cut at all these days! I rarely buy new things for myself and I'm a bit obssessed with craigslist. We don't have tons of fancy new toys (video games, computers, etc.) and when we do treat ourselves to something like that (we recently bought a 42" LED television), it's only after a lot of research to find the best deal and after we've saved the money to buy it without putting it on a credit card.

Now, I'm definitely not complaining. I LOVE my life and love being able to spend all day with my kids, raising them and teaching them. I love that I was there for Sophia's first words, first steps, and when she needs a band-aid and a kiss, I'm the one that gives it to her. I adore seeing Abby's precious smile and I know that I am doing the best for my kids. But I have to admit, sometimes I feel a little jealous of my working friends - after all, not only do they often have a little extra money to get a pedicure, etc., but they get to have conversations with actual adults (not just a 4 year old who thinks she's an adult) on a regular basis. In the endthough, I know we have made the right choices for our family.

And that's my point. It's all about choices. Not luck. Please don't insult me by telling me I'm "lucky" I get to stay home with my kids. Just like I won't tell you you're "lucky" you get to work in the field you studied/trained/worked so hard to get into.

Stepping off soapbox.