On Becoming My Mother

So the other day I had one of those moments - I know most of my fellow moms can probably relate - wait, let me set the stage.... Sophia was being particularly "free-spirited" (and you do know that "free-spirited" is mommy-code for "a pain in the a$$", right?) and was pretty much driving me straight into a bottle of booze and I don't even drink that much! Finally, I had just had enough of her smart mouth and I said...wait for it...."Sophia Hope Ward, I am not one of your little friends - you may not speak to me that way!" Aack - not only did I use her WHOLE name but I said the "not one of your little friends" thing that my mom used to say to me. For some reason when I was a kid, it made me so mad when my mom would say that...I'm not really sure why.

Don't get me wrong - I had an amazing childhood and my parents were (and still are) awesome. But you know, when you're a kid, you don't always (well, really never) realize how good you've got it, right? So when I was little, I made a list of the things I would never say or do to my children... I would NEVER say "I'm not one of your little friends" or "Well, that may be okay for everyone else but not for you" or "I'm glad her mom lets her do that but I'm your mom and I say NO!". I would NEVER make my child eat what I cooked for dinner if she didn't want it - I'd be understanding and offer to make something else. If my child wanted to quit half-way through tryouts or in the middle of the season, I'd let her because that's what she wants. If she was satisfied with sub-par work on a project (that she put off until the very last second), I'd be okay with it too. Life would be easy for all of us.

Fast forward to the other day when I was having my mommy-meltdown with Sophia. She was being fairly disrespectful when I informed her that I wasn't her little friend and she wasn't going to speak to me as if I were her equal. Immediately after I said it, I thought, "Doh! I'm becoming my mother!" Then, a little while later I was doing some cleaning and glanced at myself in the mirror and realized that I'm even starting to look like her! And you know what, it's a GOOD thing! My mom is the most creative, funny, thoughtful mom I know. She can make the neatest crafts and can throw them together in minutes. I never laugh harder than when I'm with my mom and she always knows what to say when I ask for child-rearing advice. She works magic with my kids, especially when Abby is crying uncontrollably and just won't go to sleep. She helped me make it through what was quite possibly the worst two days of mommyhood so far - taking the binky away from Sophia. And thinking back to my list of things I'd never do as a mom, well - now that I've actually become a mom, all I can do is laugh at that list. I do make Sophia eat what I cook for dinner - I'm not a short order cook and this isn't Burger King (you don't always get it "your way") Some of the best lessons I learned during my childhood were the importance of sticking to something, finishing what I started, and being part of a team. I learned the importance of only turning in work I'm proud to put my name on. My mom taught me these things by not being one of "my little friends" and by being my mother. That doesn't mean she wasn't "friendly" with me. We hung out together and had a lot of fun together, I just understood that we were not equals - she was the mom and I was the child (again, something I have said to Sophia many, many times). She's beautiful and she's the best mom I know. I'm glad that I'm becoming my mother. I only hope I do her proud!