Never Enough

What in the world has happened to our society? There was a time (and it wasn't so long ago) when people worked hard, took care of their families, helped their neighbors and friends, and just generally led honest, faithful, quality lives. People spent quality time with their friends - they went "visiting" on the weekends. They picked up a telephone and actually called people. They would have been horrified by the way people today so casually treat others, "friending" people they barely know and sharing very intimate details with them and "unfriending" people on a whim.  And don't even get me started on airing your dirty laundry in public, (thank you, Facebook). 

Speaking of Facebook, I've come to the realization that not entirely, but for the most part, it really just brings out the worst in people.  Of course there are those that use it as it was intended, keeping up with family and friends across the miles. I can literally count on one hand (and still have fingers left over) the number of people who are my Facebook "friends" who truly use it to keep in touch with loved ones, posting fun pictures, etc.  Now, it seems to me, Facebook has kind of become a cesspool of self-congratulating, self-consumed status updates, embarrassingly candid information about private lives, and up-to-the-second updates about the most mundane daily experiences.  When did people become so full of themselves to assume that their "friends" really care how much sugar they put in their daily cups of coffee or how long it took them to do the laundry that morning?

I "know" someone on Facebook - an old acquaintance from my school days - whose posts often go something like this...."Wow. Just finished deep cleaning all six bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, living room, family room, dining room, kitchen, and I even cleaned out BOTH refrigerators! Now onto the swimming pool and then I can call it a day!" or "Can barely keep my eyes open. I just finished hand-sewing new Easter dresses for my girls tomorrow!" or even worse was a picture of a bunch of packed-to-the-gills backpacks and suitcases (and by a bunch I mean about 15) with the caption, "All packed and ready to take the whole family to Hawaii for our 9 day trip!"  Of course the posts are then flooded with comments like, "Whoa! You really are Superwoman!" and "Can you be my mom?" or "You are the coolest mom ever!" and "How on earth do you do it all?" She then responds with an "Awww, shucks" type of statement.  Mission accomplished. We get it. It's one thing to be proud of your family and your accomplishments. A simple, "Just made the party favors for my kid's birthday. I'm so excited to share them with our friends and family" would probably elicit the same type of responses, so why the need to go into such detail? It's just so over-the-top boasting and fishing for compliments.  You know what I find most sad about this? Here is a person with what most of us would consider a charmed life - she has a supportive husband, beautiful, healthy children, a nice home, etc. and all of that isn't enough. She still feels the need to seek the adoration of friends, acquaintances, and near-strangers.

This isn't sour grapes. I know how hard stay-home moms work. I know how it feels to want a little pat on the back now again for all you do. It just seems so sad to be begging for "Atta-boys" from virtual strangers when you have a houseful of loving family and a bounty of real life friends who appreciate all you do for them, (all of which I don't doubt she has). When is it enough? True and heart-felt compliments from your spouse, children, and friends aren't good enough. No, you need the shallow words from distant friends (and the more you have the better) to tell you how SUPER you are.

Unfortunately, it's just a reflection of our society's jacked-up morals. It reminds me of a commercial I saw during the Christmas season this past year. Here is the scenario: a wife & mother wakes up Christmas morning, is led outside by her kids who can barely contain their excitement and her husband, beaming with pride, to the driveway. When she opens her eyes what does she see? A brand new beautiful SUV with a big red bow. Her 1000-watt smile says it all....until another shinier, bigger, and apparently much cooler SUV drives down the street. Her smile fades and the look on her face changes to pure envy - that is until she looks over at her husband - then the look turns to utter disappointment. How horrifying. We were so tired of the commercials that glorified materialism and consumerism that we banned TV in our house during the holidays. We do allow our children to watch television, but outside of a very few select shows, they only watch DVDs we have approved. We've removed all secular decorations, etc. from our holiday celebrations as well, but that's a topic for a future blog.

At any rate, I myself work to be more aware of when I'm not letting it just be enough. I'm trying not to compare my kids with others. I'm trying not to worry about whether or not we have the latest cool thing. I'm working on truly celebrating with others in their joys and mourning with them in their losses (and not the other way around). I'm working on just being happy and counting all the little blessings in my life. I'm even considering completely giving up Facebook because it isn't really adding anything real to my life....if I could just give up Candy Crush it would be so much easier! :)